Asteroid Named Rest Stop

Julia Ecklar / Leslie Fish
Created: Aug 7, 2006

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When I pulled old 307 out of Marsport                        IV - lifting off from port with Luke and Obi
The weather station said storms all the way
They stuck me with a cargo of live chickens                  IV - Luke upset with red light flashing
A dozen drunken miners,                                      IV - bar
And five hung over Shriners                                  IV - fed soldiers in town
The brake jet lining's were all worn and pitted                  IV - Luke, Obi see ship 1st time
The gasket on the cargo hatch was gone
I figured we could get as far as Phobos
But I didn't think we'd get much further on.

    And I'm looking for an asteroid named Rest Stop          IV - trying to find planet that was blown up
    Relief driver damn well better be waiting for me there
    Cuz after fifteen hours of bussin'
    Third class cargo and the riders cussin'
    I just might drive to blazes and not care.

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I chugged on up to Phobos on our last fumes                 IV - caught by Vader's ship
And prayed their engineers could heal my jets
Cuz storms had broke the locks and freed the chickens       IV - coming out of smuggler's holes
Who were crappin' on the miners,                            IV - fighting near Leia's prison
And runnin' from the Shriners                               IV - shooting back at soldiers
Till my jets were full of feathers and limp fezzes          IV - pulling shot guard off console
My two latrines were backed up in the hall                  IV - garbage with water
With chicken crap and ore dust on my main bridge            IV - shot at while boarding
I could only hope that Phobos heard my call

    Cuz I'm looking for an asteroid named Rest Stop         IV - flying ship to base
    Relief driver damn well better be waiting for me there
    Cuz after fifteen hours of bussin'                      IV - Chewie likes to win
    Third class cargo and the riders cussin'                IV - Luke gets zapped
    I just might drive to blazes and not care.              IV - flying ship

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At Phobos port they held me up in docking                   IV - Han and Chewie hearing lecture
Then stuck me off in Bay 117                                IV - Han loading reward
The customs man walked in, breathed once, and fainted       IV - Luke comes in mad
Then got up, ran out and screamed                           IV - Luke leaves
For a fumigation team
The passengers ran thru the door and jammed it              IV - Luke, Leia and Han hug
It took a quarter hour to haul them clear
I found a bar and broke some regulations                    IV - Han shoots bounty hunter
Then went out looking for an engineer.                      IV - Han going out to find Luke

    Cuz I'm looking for an asteroid named Rest Stop         IV - in asteroid field
    Relief driver damn well better be waiting for me there
    Cuz after fifteen hours of bussin'
    Third class cargo and the riders cussin'
    I just might drive to blazes and not care.

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I found this Joe Von Krugin on a barstool                   IV - C3P0 on stool in bridge
So drunk on coolant fumes he couldn't stand                 IV - C3P0 pulled into ship dock
I told him I could pay him in fresh chickens                IV - C3P0 looking at flying things out window
If he'd try to fix my drive                                 IV - C3P0 working on ship
So I could leave that port alive                            IV - flying out of monster
He staggered to my ship and stood there laughing            IV - C3P0 with one foot in hand
While bedraggled spaced out chickens filled the air         IV - minots flying around
He sat down on the nearest passed out Shriner               IV - C3P0 held by Chewie, collapsed Han
And he said, "Just shoot this ship, it's only fair."        IV - battle ship shooting at Falcon

    But I'm looking for an asteroid named Rest Stop         IV - in asteroid field again
    Relief driver damn well better be waiting for me there
    Cuz after fifteen hours of bussin'
    Third class cargo and the riders cussin'
    I just might drive to blazes and not care.

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I called the third shift office and they told me             V - landing at Lando's
Son, there no replacement short of your next stop
I paid out four fat chickens for a patch job                 V - Han hugs Lando, points at ship
Got my riders back on board                                  V - Han keeps Leia from Lando
Then in came seven more                                      V - Fed troopers show up
God, they were Martian mercenaries mean as cat dirt          V - Mercenary
And some damn fool miner offered 'em a fight                 V - Lando released Leia
They was hacking through my back seats with machetes         V - Vader takes off Luke's hand
When I cleared that port and drove out through the night.    V - Han frozen

    Looking for an asteroid named Rest Stop                  V - Han flown away
    Relief driver damn well better be waiting for me there  VI - Leia pulls off helmet
    Cuz after fifteen hours of bussin'                       V - Han after beating
    Third class cargo and the riders cussin'                 V - Leia yells at Lando
    I just might drive to blazes and not care.              VI - Han as he's unfrozen

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I locked the ports and holed up in the cabin                VI - Han thrown in prison
And listened to the ruckus in the rear                      VI - Chewie hugs Han
Then I got a wild idea and cut the g-force                  VI - blind Han shoots monster
And let folks, and fowl and all                             VI - C3P0 and R2D2 fall from flyer
Go mix up in free fall                                      VI - Luke and Leia swing from flyer
Now I nursed my rusty engines toward that asteroid          VI - flying
When they ask me what my cargo is I'll say                  VI - Han saluting Lando
It's free fall Martian Stew and Chicken Gumbo               VI - Han on the dinner menu
Lord, that station better not be far away.

    Cuz I'm looking for an asteroid named Rest Stop         VI - Luke throws Leia's hat to Han
    Relief driver damn well better be waiting for me there  VI - Han says he loves Leia, I know
    Cuz after fifteen hours of bussin'                      VI - flying
    Third class cargo and the riders cussin'
    I just might drive to blazes and not care.              VI - Han not liking poked with spears
    Yeah, I just might drive to blazes and not care.        VI - Han taps trooper, runs around corner
Music ending                                                VI - Han surrenders to metal thing with Chewie

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