Memo:
Please issue,
I Whistle -- reflexive.

If it isn't raining it's snowing and if you aren't skidding you're plowing and I don't think my shoes are going to stand much more of this weather and I have yet to find an overcoat collar that will cover my ears and I never seem to have my gloves wiht me when it gets downright, seriously cold and speaking of colds (we were) I have an excellent one I've kept in good repair that I'm willing to sell or hock or even give away to the right party and the price will be made to suit you and Dick Kern's party pants for the Fiesta are altogether too short and it worries me because his socks don't always match and wouldn't it be terrible for Dicky to lead the peerade at the Fiesta with his blue velvet pants around his knees and not around his ankles and one blue sock and one of mine which aint blue and anyway don't worry about me because I have another sock or will have when I find it and if you ever get tired of doing nothing and want to see some work being done in a serious manner you should watch the Circulation Department of The Daily Maroon sending the Whistle out to people who want to read the Sport Section and then go into the next office to (missing)

sheet write a Blind Alley which will be read exclusively by Mr. Louis H. Engel, a student at this University and have you noticed that everybody read the Athenaeum yesterday but nobody will say anything about it because they can't pronounce the name of the man that wrote it and the Washington Prom is nearing, nearing, Gawd help us because I have never yet seen a rented dinner coat that would fit me and Bobby Fisher is going to wear a tail coat and I hope he gets a long one and stumbles on it because I would like to see Bobby stumble at the Washington Prom and they are going to get some people from the Military Department to bounce the gate-crashers so I have no hope of crashing the gate and Pat Kelly, football captain elect, is aiding the barbers in the Reynolds Clubs by sitting in the vacant chair during the noon hour and assuring everyone in sight that they won't have to wait and they won't have to wait very long 'cause the doggone place closes sometime and then you go home and don't wait anymore and we have a darn good basketball team even if they don't win many games and they would win lots more games than they do if they didn't play teams that beat them and you can't blame them for that and somebody is going to sing a section of "Carmen" at the Fiesta so if some kind hearted soul will tell me what time it is going to happen I will take good care not to be there because "Carmen" is a wonderful opera and I always liked Carmen until one of themrefused to take a transfer that was only a week old and tehn I didn't like Carmen so well because all this mess over seven cents that I might have owed the street car company if I had had seven cents had nothing whatever to do with the fact that Jimmy the janitor is sick and as he is a Caledonian after my own heart I hope he feels better mos' promptly and did you notice in the Classified Ads yesterday that a man wants to sell a Tuxedo coat for $110.00 which is more than I usually pay for a Tuxedo coat even with several flask pockets which I doubt this one hundred and ten dollar coat has as I have no flask anyway and I wouldn't have mentioned them except that I have seen a lot of college movies and they all have flasks and I must be missing something and I wish they would paint a design on the side of the truck that the Commons insist on running around the campus because it looks like a hearse and I don't like hearses and all designs submitted will be passed upon by a committe who know nothing whatever about designs and so are capable of judging a good design when they see one and I have a deep and abiding respect for the men with courage enough to button up their lady's galoshes and the man who invented them had nothing better to do and as that reflects on me.

THAT'LL BE ALL

         THE BLIND TIGER