DESCRIPTION of the Baby House, &c. of Miss Biddy Puerilla
Jan 19, 1792; By Seignior Whimsicallo Pomposo
The whole ground to be improved, is
16 feet from north to south, and
11 1-2 feet from east to west. On
an eminence, made by one of nature's
pioneers, a mole, is to be erected
the principal edifice, for the
accomodation of Miss Biddy's doll
Fanny. The five architectural
orders are to be stripped of their
choicest beauties to decorate it;
and obelisks, statues, and columns,
are to stand centinels all around.
From a duck trough at the southeast
angle, water is to be brought by
hydraulic machines; so as to form,
almost under the eaves of the palace,
a cascade six inches wide and
9 3-4 inches in heighth. This was
a desideratum long contemplated, and
but lately compleated in the cerrebellum
of the above ingenious artist.
The principal street leading from
Miss Fanny's palace to that of Miss
Clarinda, the next doll in favor; is
to be 7 inches wide: and all the
diverging lanes 4 1-2 inches broad.
Those parts of the map colored with
deep red, are to be appropriated to
a number of elegant purposes, too
maltifarious to be here enumerated.
Gigantic trees, of the whortle berry
and current tribes, are to shed a
pleasing gloom over the most important
avenues: while the river before
mentioned, enriched with delightful
tadpoles, is to meander thro' every
part of the paradise.
Melodious wrens are engaged to
warble from a gooseberry bush, and
several well-instructed frogs are to
croak the bass. Two elegant kittens
will bound along the streets,
and Miss Biddy's pied lap-dog Cupie,
is to stalk the mammoth of this new
creation.
Upon the whole, Miss Biddy is
determined, that her improvements
shall be so stupendous; as would
overwhelm the builders of Palmyra,
the constructors of the appian way,
and William Penn, himself, with
shame and confusion were they
present to behold them.
There are not wanting however
some captious carping people, who
arraign the economy and prudence
of Miss Biddy's mamma, for going to
such enormous expence to gratify a
capricious little minx. This, they
observe is to be her third baby house;
into a fourth. Besides say they, the
old lady should consider, that at the
very moment she is fostering these
dreams of puny splendor, the garden
fence itself is by no means secure;
for twice has the great black bull
broke through, near the very spot
where Miss Biddy is to be indulged
in this wonderful wonder: and, add
they, should he rush thro when the
plan is perfected; adieu in a moment
to the palaces, the temples, the
obelisks, the naval pillar, the statues,
the triumphal arches -- and -- the
unfortunate gooseberry bush.
R.
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